monitorhead

Saturday was Logan’s birthday party at our house. Check out Megan’s post for some photos. My story begins several hours before the party began. Megan went to the scrapbooking store and I was home with the kids. Connor and Logan were both down for naps so they could be well-rested for the party. Napping is critical for a shiny, happy evening. Around 4pm, Connor was still fighting sleep after 2 hours in bed. I went to his room to convince him that sleeping is good. I laid down with him and convinced him to close his eyes and be still. Within about 20 seconds he was twitching and breathing heavy as he drifted off to sleep.

About this time I heard Logan whining from the other room as he woke up. I was still l in Connor’s bed (on the top bunk) hoping he would not be disturbed by Logan. I managed to creep and creak my way down off the top bunk without waking Connor up. I was feeling proud of myself for getting Connor to sleep. Logan had stopped crying and I thought maybe he was asleep again. I was wrong.

Logan began crying again with a little more insistance this time.  I went to his room to get him out of bed. He was sitting up and I noticed a pile of chunks on his sheets. Oh no, I thought to myself. He is sick and threw up in his bed. No wonder he woke up. But as I got closer I smelled the truth. Logan had some kind of super-duper diaper blow-out. It had leaked out of diaper and onto his bed and clothes. He had also managed to rub it on his hands and face. Great, this is wonderful. To top it off, he was already in his nice party clothes.

I snatched him up and headed straight to the bath tub. I was trying to be quiet since the bathroom shares a wall with Connor’s room and he had just fallen asleep. I stripped of Logan’s soiled clothing and overloaded diaper. Logan splashed in the water while I rinsed him. About the time he was covered in suds, he slipped and hit his head on the side of the tub. It wasn’t hard but I knew he would cry. I didn’t want this to wake Connor so I leaned down quickly to scoop up Logan. Leaning over, I realized that during his fall, Logan had pulled the shower switch. So now, water is spraying on my head and Logan is soapy, wet and bawling. In one motion, I wrapped Logan in a towel and switched off the water. I rushed to the other end of the house to preserve the peace for Connor. After a few minutes, Logan calmed down and I rinsed off the soap and dressed him. And through all this, Connor never woke.

Megan was only gone from the house for about an hour but her timing was impeccable. I’ll be sure to remind her of this event the next time I want to go to Fry’s by myself.

This weekend I re-joined the ranks of the grass-cutting public. For the past 6 years, we have lived in apartments or duplexes that included "gardening" services. Each week, someone else showed up and mowed the grass, trimmed the hedges and swept up the clippings.  I did nothing. I didn’t call, collaborate or pay these diligent workers. They just did their job and the grass never grew too long. Honestly, I don’t recall seeing many homeowners in California mow their own lawn. It seemed to be universally accepted that you paid someone else to tend your grass.

Now that I’m a homeowner, the task is back on my shoulders. Since moving in, we have received numerous flyers advertising affordable lawncare services. I shunned those services, however, in favor of mowing the grass myself. Megan’s brother was kind enough to give us his lawnmower (he has cheerfully abdicated his lawn duties and no longer has use for a mower). It’s a good thing too, since the recent warm weather in our area has prompted some growth. Unfortunately, our lawn is composed more of weeds than of St. Augustine at this point. I spent at least half an hour pulling the largest weeds before trimming the tops of the remaining weeds. In our neighborhood, we are surrounded by impeccable lawns. Megan was embarrassed that our lawn was so unsightly.

I’m not completely opposed to paying to have my yard mowed. But, if I’m going to have professional mowers, I think my lawn should get special care. It better have that criss-crossed pattern on it like the grass in the outfield at Major League Baseball games. If I ever see a flyer advertising patterned lawn-mowing, I might consider it. I just figured that while I have more spare time than spare money, I should do it myself.

Our new lawnmower is the self-propelled type which makes it easier to push. However, there is but one drive speed–a moderate pace akin to walking. I remember mowing lawns when I was about 12 years old. I would run back and forth across the lawn, mowing as fast as possible in a sort of race against time. After all, if you were getting paid to mow, it was better to be done in 20 minutes than 40. I didn’t run like that this weekend, but I thought about it. Looking back at it now, sprinting wildly while pushing a gas-powered, spinning, steel blade may have been a bit foolish. Luckily, I made it through adolesence with all my toes. What more can you ask for?

Whether you are a fan of NBC’s, The Office, or if you have actually spent time working in a corporate office environment, you are certainly aware of a special brand of language used by senior management types. I haven’t been working long but already I have come across multiple instances of "corporate-speak" mostly in reports or updates from the company president or the like. These are generally useful publications that communicate the direction of the company or evaluate the past. But they are so peppered with words like "leverage," "alignment," and "synergy" to lose almost any real meaning. They just sound like a generic corporate pattern in which you fill in the blanks with a few specifics like your product or company name.

I found a nice glossary of corporate-speak terminology that was worth a laugh. I was surprised how many of those terms I have heard or read in the last few months. Corporate culture is a funny thing.  I am starting to think that the similarities between so many corporate entities (which is why this list is funny and true) must have a common origin. I just don’t know what that origin is.

Part of my daily routine is eating my breakfast on the way to work. This saves me time since I have nothing better to do while sitting in my car for 30 minutes and is enjoyable since part of breakfast is a large, delicious latte-ccino (my own name for an extra foamy latte). Of course, this practice has eliminated the effectiveness of brushing my teeth at home as I promptly render my teeth brown and full of food particulates. My solution is to brush my teeth at work. I keep an extra toothbrush (my "work" toothbrush) and some toothpaste stashed in a drawer in my office.

On occasion, my personal hygeine practices draw glances from others as they pass through the public restroom. I’m not sure why. No one would think twice about someone washing their hands or combing their hair at work. Why should dental care be any different?  Undeterred, I continue to brush my teeth each morning in the bathroom near my office despite the slightly negative response to my personal cleanliness.

This morning I was pleasantly surprised while brushing my teeth to be joined by another on-the-job tooth-brusher. Now, I know I’m not alone. Perhaps there are even more people at work cleaning their teeth. Maybe some are still shy–cowering behind closed doors with dental floss and mouthwash–but now is the time join together and make a bold statement. Our teeth were dirty when we arrived, but they will be dirty no more!